Friday, July 11, 2014

My Itch....

to let it all out and write.

I haven't written for awhile mainly because I've had 1,001things to do and blogging was 1,002.

Whoever said that growing up is fun and lying. Well...actually, I've never heard that from anyone, but it's how I feel. Like I'm thrown into adulthood and I'm supposed to have it all figured out.

And... I don't.

I feel like I have all these responsibilities now...

I have so much on my plate right now; wedding planning/sorting, trying to get all this loan stuff figured out to build our first house, paying off my student loans, starting to think about the new school year and then a side business that the fiancé and I started a couple of months ago.

I'm supposed to be excited about planning our wedding and frankly, I'm not.

I'm supposed to be excited about (possibly) building and moving into our first house and frankly, I'm not.

The truth is, I'm a scared wreck. I don't feel prepared. I don't feel old enough. I don't feel confident.

I'm scared that my fiancé and I will have money issues. I'm scared my fiancé won't find a full-time job. I'm scared we won't get this house. I'm scared to be on our own.

However, I cannot stress about things I cannot control.

I just need to reassure myself everything will be ok.

At least I have a career I love. Times like these are when I wish we had year-round school. So, I don't sit and pity myself over the real world.

...I think too much.