Death

Death. It’s inevitable. Everyone knows its coming. Yet, it’s something we so easily forget about in our daily lives. Deaths can be unexpected or predictable. Sadly, people die everyday. Newborn babies to the elderly. Even when you’re expecting it, you can never fully prepare for it. Death is just apart of life. It’s what we’re already registered to do when our time is done. With the joys of life comes the sorrow of death. Every now and then, people’s time on this earth is cut way too short and sometimes even the oldest of people aren’t ready to let go either. I mean, who is ready? Death is a scary improbable unknown and no matter how knowledgeable you may be, you can never be ready. There is so many what ifs circling around death? Could I have done anything to prolong his time here on earth? Am I ready to accept this? Was he in pain or content? And most importantly, did they know how many people loved them throughout their life? We sure wish they did.

After a long determined willingness to survive, my Grandpa Dick passed away yesterday, October 13^th, 2011. He was 94 years old. A father, a grandfather, life-partner and friend, who were admired by many, left his signature and imprint on all he had meet. He endured what no human should ever have to live through. Hell. When he signed up to defend our country, he never imagined he would be a Prisoner of War for 3 ½ years, As a WWII vet, I never heard him complain about what he’d been through and he never felt bad for himself.  He lived his life with love for life, dignity, loyalty and a smile accompanied by laughter, always resting on his face.

My Grandpa’s quote: "I always wonder why I am still alive, when so many others did not make it.”

His last few weeks of life, we’re the hardest on his family. He was declining quickly. Knowing that he wouldn’t be here much longer was a fate we couldn’t accept. We thought we were prepared for it, but it’s something you can never be completely emotionally ready for. It hurts just as much as when it is unexpected. The feeling is unknowing and empty.

Grandpa, I speak for your whole family; your daughters, Sue and Kathy, their husbands, John and Kent, your 4 grandchildren, Rick, Laura, Kate and I, and you’re other half, Peg, that you were our family rock, a simple man with so much wisdom and love to share. You will be remembered for your heroic sacrifices, your love for life, your famous one-liners, and the 94 years of memories you have shared with so many. You were the greatest Man I have ever known and I am lucky and honored to call you MY Grandpa.

I am at ease knowing that you are smiling down on us and that you are finally at peace. I am forever grateful to have spent 22 years with you as my Grandpa. I will cherish the wisdom you have taught me, the laughter we have shared and love you have shown us. You were by far, the greatest Grandpa, most admirable man and most importantly a praiseworthy person. I miss you Grandpa, and even though you were 94 years young, that wasn’t long enough. I love you Grandpa, forever and always.

Grandpa Dick---June 20th, 1917- October 13th, 2011

Keep smiling Grandpa. You’re pretty when you smile.

WILW

This is my first WILW. I've read so many and I wanted to get into the fun too! Link up here to join the party!  

I'm loving 

End of story!

I found these all on Pinterest and yes, I LOVE them all.

Source: blowoutparty.com via Kristen on Pinterest

Source: 247moms.blogspot.com via Kristen on Pinterest

Source: picasaweb.google.com via Kristen on Pinterest

Source: ffffound.com via Kristen on Pinterest

Source: fussymonkeybiz.blogspot.com via Kristen on Pinterest

Source: robinscreativecottage.blogspot.com via Kristen on Pinterest

Source: the-girl-who-ate-everything.com via Kristen on Pinterest

Source: atypicaltypea.com via Kristen on Pinterest

I WANT THIS OUTFIT!

Source: polyvore.com via Kristen on Pinterest

This jacket is on my christmas list! :)

Source: express.com via Kristen on Pinterest

and I'll be making these for Christmas this year!

Source: buddingbaketress.blogspot.com via Kristen on Pinterest

He did WHAT?!?!

The other night I was upstairs working on a paper that was due in a few days. It was only me in the house with our new puppy....Tio.

He is about 6 months old, so gets into everything and anything. That night I had him in my room with me when I was working on my paper. I gave him a new bone so I thought he would be occupied for a few minutes. Well, 5 minutes later he jumped down from my bed, with his bone in his mouth. I let him out of my room because I figured he would just be chewing it downstairs by the dining room table, where he loves to chew his toys. 

About an hour goes by and I don't hear him. You know it's a bad sign when a puppy or child is quiet. So, I go downstairs and he is chewing an EMPTY advil bottle. I freak out, yell at him and google the emergency vet office to seek help! The bottle is completely empty and the cap is no where to be found---so I assume he just ate the cap off of it. The vet office tells me to give him 1 tblsp of hydrogen peroxide and he should throw up within a half hour. If he doesn't, give him one more tblsp and wait again. The vet lady also told me that I should call the poison control for animals to see what they suggest I do. She gives me the number and as I'm saying bye and about to hang up, she says, "Oh and by the way, they will charge you $60 for the consultation (if you even call it that), so have your credit card ready." I was so mad. I love my dog, but I am not about to pay $60 for an answer that I can get on google....ya know?

So, I give him one tblsp of hydrogen peroxide and he never threw up. This whole time I'm trying to contact my Dad to tell him to get home because he had the only car we have and in case Tio needed to go to the vet emergency room we would have a way to get there. 

I call him 3 times, my Mom was teaching, but she was also trying to call him. Finally, after 15 mins. my Mom calls me back and says, "Kristen, Dad through the empty advil bottle in the downstairs garbage and the cap he threw away in a different garbage bin---so everything is fine and Tio didn't eat any advil!" 

A huge sigh of relief came over me. Everything ended up being fine because Tio didn't have any advil or the cap for that matter. I still don't understand why my Dad threw away an empty advil bottle in TWO different places....but that's just my Dad for you. My poor dog licked all the hydrogen peroxide right off the spoon, but never threw up. 

Still love my puppy!!

Some things I can’t change…

But I wish I could.

I recently got placed at a CPS elementary school to do some clinical work with 2^nd graders. It is on the far south side of Chicago. I carpool with 3 other classmates and it’s about a 45 minute commute from Lincoln Park.  I have to be honest, after all that’s what a blog is all about (right?). I was terrified going there for the first time.

If you have been with me for awhile, you remember a post I did awhile ago, about another CPS school that I volunteered at doing an after school math tutoring program and my horrific findings one day after I was done. With that school being on North Side of the city, I couldn’t imagine what the south side was like.

I must say that I was happily wrong. We were greeted with such big smiles, excited teachers to work with us, and a resource teacher that could run an army... that’s how determined he was. One of the first things he said to us was, “I teach here to make a difference and I hope you are as well. These kids need a positive role model in their life and they ARE eager to learn!”

A white, red haired teacher greeted me outside the classroom. As the student’s lined up one-by-one to come into the classroom, I saw faces of children who were happy to be there and eager to learn. As the morning began, the Teacher introduced me to the class and giggles poured through the room. I could tell they were equally as excited for me to be there, as was I.

The morning consisted of no direct instruction, but rather 2.5 hours of state testing ON COMPUTERS! (Don’t get me started on state testing). As we walked into the computer room the teacher told me that they would be testing in Math today and that I am not allowed to help them with any of it. Well, the first question popped up on their computers and 23 kids raised their hands. The question was something along the lines of, “If yesterday was Wednesday, what is today?” Well, none of them could even read the question! It was heart wrenching.  I knew if I read it to them, they could answer correctly, but I couldn’t. It upset me greatly. That’s how the whole 2.5 hours went. Students asking for help, not knowing words, not knowing what a graph was, how could this even be OK!!! These students may be way behind grade level, but they ARE smart and it is NOT their fault. This is one problem I have with the public education system, at least in Chicago.

I don’t fault the teacher either, she is just doing what is required of her, but these poor kids aren’t even receiving the proper time for instruction in the first place, to answer these test questions. I asked the teacher if she had a change to look at the test before they took it, so she knew what TYPE of questions would be on it and she said they’re not allowed to. I DON’T GET IT!! So if they don’t know it, don’t take 2.5 hours of instruction AWAY from them!

After about 2 hours the majority of the class was done. They were allowed to play around on Word making sentences and playing with colors and fonts, which all of them had to be shown where the color and font choices were. (Doesn’t it put thing in perspective? ) One little girl said, “Ms. K, how do you spell 20?” I answered her and then said, “I want to hear your sentence you made. Can you read it to me please?” She said proudly, “Of course! I love my mom. She is nice and fun. She is twenty years old.” As I try to close my mouth as fast as I could, I say, “Wow! Awesome sentence her name! Now keep writing.” I go back to the front of the class where my chair was and did the quick math in my head. Did this child in second grade just tell me her Mom is younger than I am?

As the students hugged me bye and begged me not to leave yet, one little boy came up to me and said, “Ms. K, you better come back next week, I like having you here!”

The whole drive home, I thought about how I could change that class? Or if I even could in the short time I’m there? I want to make an impact and I’ve always wanted to, but taking on the challenge of 23 below grade level students might take more than one of me. I give the teacher so much credit in trying to change these little students’ lives in such a massive way!!

If only I was capable of changing such a large, extensive problem…

But, one day… I will.

Rantin' kinda night

This week I started my last 5 courses before I student teach in the Winter. Needless to say, I have been so busy that tonight I just wanted to be asleep by 9 pm. 

Well, that's not going to happen. I got home from class at 1:30 this afternoon and played with this lil guy for a bit. 

One of my girlfriends called me and asked if I was in the mood for a margarita. Of course, I said yes! So, me, her and one of our other friends when out for a drink. It was nice to talk with old friends again. (I went to High School with both of them, but we all went to different colleges.)

I noticed something though. We only had one thing in common...old friends and old memories. 

They both have big, adult, real jobs, whereas I'm still in school until next March. My friend C, has a serious boyfriend. My other friend R, doesn't. We were talking about the future, as we usually do, and questions came up of, 'who do you think will get married first?' or 'who do you think will move out first?', those type of questions. As we're answering, I notice how different we've become. A sense of sadness came over me. 

C, one of my best friends, made a comment about maybe never having kids...EVER!? Now, I'm not opposed to people not having children, but 3 years ago, if you had asked C if she wanted kids, she would have said 100% yes! I didn't ask her why she said that tonight. But, then she goes on to say that she will probably get married at 37. This puzzles me, because she has been dating her boyfriend for almost 4 years now, yet she is extremely happy on where she is right now in her life...so I am happy for her!

I mentioned that I hoped to be engaged by 26 and hopefully have children by 28 or 29. She looked at me as if I was crazy! I thought, shouldn't my friends want me to be happy? Or be excited for me? I'm scared that when that time comes, she will disapprove of my decisions or choices. Granted, that is still 4 or 5 years away---a lot can change then! But still....

Anyways, my friend R, was talking about buying a house in a few months....a few MONTHS! We are only 22 years old, yet I am excited for him. I would love to be able to buy a house in this housing market and start decorating and all that fun stuff, but that's not where my life is right now. He does have a fantastic career and he is financially responsible. 

I realized how different our lives are and concluded that this is probably the new normal. I am a bit sad, but content. 

Dip-tacular!!

If there is one thing people know about me, is how much I LOVE dips and appetizers! I saw this on Kelly's blog and had to join in on her friend Sophie's link-up! 


This dip looks amazing! I haven't tried it yet, but I am this weekend! I already found so many other dips that I can't wait to try.


Batter Dips (I found this on the one and only---Pinterest)
AND THEY ARE SAFE TO EAT!

Safe-to-Eat Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

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Recipe by: Adapted from Family Fun Magazine
Yields: about 1 1/2-2 cups cookie dough

Ingredients:
1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
4 to 6 tablespoons water

Directions:
In a medium bowl, cream together the butter and sugar. Stir in the flour, salt, vanilla and chocolate chips. Add the water one tablespoon at a time stirring between each, until the dough reaches cookie dough consistency.
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Safe-to-Eat Sugar Cookie Dough

1 1/3 cups and 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup white sugar
1-2 tablespoons water
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:
In a medium bowl, cream together butter and sugar for 2-3 minutes until light, fluffy, and pale yellow. Mix in flour and vanilla. Add water one tablespoon at a time, mixing after each, until you reach cookie dough consistency.
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Safe-to-Eat Cake Batter Cookie Dough

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup yellow cake mix
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup granulated white sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 tablespoons sprinkles
4-8 tablespoons water

Directions:
In a medium bowl, cream together butter and sugar for 2-3 minutes until light, fluffy, and pale yellow. Mix in salt, flour, cake mix, sprinkles, and vanilla. Add water one tablespoon at a time, mixing after each, until you reach cookie dough consistency.

You can then eat it with animal crackers, vanialla waffers, or anything else you find that taste good with it! :)

My slight obsession...

I am very anal, particular, strict (whatever you wanna call it) when it comes about the type of assignment notebook I have for college.

I cannot function throughout the day unless I know everything I have to do, where I have to be at certain times and other important things each week. So, needless to say, I am very anal about the type of planner I need.

I want one that has hourly slots, it has to have one week cover 2 pages, and at the bottom of each day I want like a "to-do/notes" section for homework, notes and things I need to do. I need help in choosing one. I've recently learned about Erin Condren and love her planners. But they break up the time of days. Can anyone give me a few ideas or suggestions? I've been looking at Franklin Planners but not sold yet.

Any suggestions??